House GOP Announces Compromise on Dem "Defund the Police" Policy, Will Defund Police Ability to Investigate White Collar Crime
Posted November 20 2023
WASHINGTON — Declaring a step forward towards bipartisan unity in the House of Representatives, Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) announced that Republicans would support a modified proposal to a police reform bill introduced into the House by Democrats last Thursday. “Republicans congresspeople need to be reminded that we were elected here to represent our people, not get into silly middle school fights. This job requires that we reach across the aisle, which is why I’m glad to say that we can find something to agree on with Democrats, which is that the corrupt police state has far too much power,” shared Speaker Johnson in a press release. “Compromise is integral to the functioning of our government, which is why we hope that Democrats will agree to our concession of particularly stripping the federal government’s power to persecute innocent businessmen and classy people who worked hard to enjoy the fruits of their labor- so what if they forgot a dollar or a million in their tax returns? However we draw the thin blue line there. If we completely defund the police, the United States will be overridden with gangbanging brutish apes and thugs, and we simply cannot let radical leftist communist Democrats have that. There is real systemic persecution by the government that can be stopped, and it starts with criminal liability on CEOs who happen to accidentally sign financial reporting forms with a few zeros missing.” This speech accompanied the introduction of H.R. 7928 “Stop Police Oppression Act” onto the House floor by Rep. Loudermilk (R-GA). The bill failed 221-213, with all Democrats voting no, citing an obvious wealth discrimination in the application of the law. At press time, Speaker Johnson blasted Democrats for being obstinate and self-serving in failing to reach across the aisle and work with Republicans for the sake of the American people.